dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
