Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
