All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
