I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
