I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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