At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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