How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
