just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
