is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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