is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
