Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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