Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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