That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Be still, my beating vagina.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
