D3 body, D1 cock
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Your face is a jimmy john
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
