Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize