I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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