We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
