I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
