Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I need to calm my uterus...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
