i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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