It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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