It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
