So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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