Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize