I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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