I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
