a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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