Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
