hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize