Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
