I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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