She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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