The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
