Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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