I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
