sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
