Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
