he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
