My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize