That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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