No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
