AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
