What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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