bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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