Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
