It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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