You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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