I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
