My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
