I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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