the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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