So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
