ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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