Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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