Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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