Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
