haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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