Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Panties = found
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
