it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
