I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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