i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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