drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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