living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't turn off my feet"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
