dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
