i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
