I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
