I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
