I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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