I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
