I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
